Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So vagazzling was a success
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
