I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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