i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
