Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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