Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
