I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So much Jack, so little girl.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
