I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You're like the curious george of whores
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize