R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
