You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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