Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
