how can u be prego again
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
