If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize