Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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