her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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