FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
