turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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