You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
ttyl tear gas
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
