it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
