After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
