i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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