bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
