i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
