We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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