We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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