It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
organizing the empties. That sober.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
