so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
