Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
