and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
