My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
