I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
