Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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