They should really pass out barf bags in church
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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