New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
