So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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