2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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