Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
