U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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