pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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