just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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