I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
