That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
