yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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