Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
