shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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