i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
