I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
