She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
