great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
