gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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