Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
sex in a hospital.. check
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize