carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
