She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
