when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize