Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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