she told me i tasted like america
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
