I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
