I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
This toilet bowl is my home.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
