I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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