i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
