Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
