I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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