R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
