It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
